The Seesaw of Suffering

Dead weight suffering 
drops its heaviness 
on me, leaving 
a depression— 
thumbprint of loneliness, 
harm-pit threatening 
oppression. 

I suffer the moment, 
weighed down 
(way down to the depths) 
knowing the promise: 
the seesaw balance 
works best when 
re-balanced. 

See—my share in pain 
is for your gain! 
My end down, 
I gather comfort 
greedily from 
rich resources, 
unlimited . . . 

Hearts up, friends! 
We’re only downed 
to soak up grace 
and then to fly! 
Abba soothes the hurt 
and lifts us high 
with compassion. 


Your end and mine 
go up, comfort shared 
and lightening hearts, 
spilling over 
with abandon
(chain reaction) 
to soothe others. 

This was the passage that was speaking to me with power while I was going through extremely tough challenges, over  a decade ago.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, ⁴ who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. ⁵ For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. ⁶ If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. ⁷ And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort. (2 Cor. 1:3-7 NIV)

Ah! When I suffer and depend on God my Father, I receive consolation that cannot be explained. It gets me through a rough patch and even longer paths of pain. It comes from my relationship with the God of all comfort. He has a bigger purpose than just getting me through this hard stuff: he is honing me, preparing me to be a source of comfort and encouragement to others! How can that work out?

Usually it is easier to understand when looking back. In the moment, it can seem pointless. But then there comes a time when the Father uses it to reach out to someone else. Here are some personal examples.

Our first baby had reached the seventh month in the womb when things just weren’t what they should be. I felt no movement. And then one day, sitting with a friend over coffee, I began to feel “cramps”. My friend, a nurse, timed them and told me that they were actually contractions. I ended up losing that baby, finding out that she had already been dead for a few weeks in the womb. Heartbroken, I could not understand why the Lord would have allowed us to have that unplanned pregnancy when we were in our second year of marriage, struggling financially, only to then take her away. I memorized John 17 as I tried to reconcile my heart to the suffering. I relished my Jesus’ love for me and his prayers for me as he approached his time of suffering. And eventually we had three other children. But that loss gave me a heart of compassion for others who lost pregnancies or even young children, a different understanding of their pain than I would ever have had otherwise.

I also went through some extremely wretched times while on the mission field, stretches when I felt like a failure or when the hurtful judgments of other “coworkers” made me feel hopeless. Yet, looking back, those experiences gave me humility and prepped me to take time to learn how to coach others through similar situations.

When we walk with Jesus, no suffering is lost. He is sanctifying us—which means he is setting us apart from “normal” earthly values and ties, to make us ready to serve him:

 Just as you sent me into the world, so I sent them into the world. ¹⁹ And I set myself apart on their behalf, so that they too may be truly set apart. ²⁰ “I am not praying only on their behalf, but also on behalf of those who believe in me through their testimony, (Jn. 17:18 NET)

As we know, Jesus was sent into the world to spread the Good News that he is the way, the truth and the life, and that we can freely come to the Father through him (John 8:32, 14:6). He knew we would face suffering. From the beginning of time, faithful followers of God had suffered. He knew that future believers would suffer too.

One thing has never changed: God is ready to protect and comfort his dear ones. He spoke this truth through the psalmist, in the Old Testament, and through Peter in the New Testament:

Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken. (Ps. 55:22 NIV)

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. (1 Pet. 5:7 NIV)

These verses remind me of a time when Glenn was preaching in the Nyarafolo village of Tiepogovogo and wanted to make this truth real for the believers there. He asked a young woman, Victorine, to do a skit with him. She walked across the front of the sanctuary carrying a large basin on her head, symbolizing a heavy load of wood, staggering. Women do this frequently there; they are the burden bearers in that culture. Glenn met her and offered to help carry the load. She resisted; it would be shameful to let go of her load. She kept going but stumbled. He finally convinced her. She set the basin on the floor, and he picked it up for her. She was no longer bent over as they walked together to the exit.

That is what our Master is telling us to do: let him lift our load! He knows we will have heavy loads. He knows we will suffer here on earth—physically, emotionally, in many ways. He is the Almighty, the one with unlimited strength, and he tells us to just throw what is troubling us on him! He will carry it for us, he is ready to help us and give us strength for the journey. We can stumble along, resisting his offer. Or we can give it all over to him! That is what he wants.

That is what I pictured on the seesaw. Weighed down, I could not push hard enough to fly high. But when he lightened my load and lifted me up, I could rise. I cling to that now as I did back then. He sustains me and gives me peace even in the middle of suffering, peace beyond my understanding—where did that come from? It is given to us by the Spirit, who lives in us. He is our “Paraclete,” a word that translators work hard to communicate: Advocate, Counselor, Helper. In French “consolateur” is added to the list, the one who gives consolation. And one of his jobs is to remind us of what Jesus said. He promised us peace, even when we are troubled. Let’s let him take our burden and lift us up, giving us his unique peace that we can never find anywhere else! He is, after all, the Prince of Peace.

 But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. ²⁷ Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid (Jn. 14:26 NIV)

And the comfort and peace that he gives us can then empower us to bring encouragement and consolation to others. It is a learning curve, down and up.