No Holding Back!

“Sell all that you have 
and give it away!” 
my Lord Jesus said 
to the wealthy inquirer, 
and then, said to me, 
“No more holding back!”

That’s just what he meant 
when he said, “Hand it over,
your life and your soul!
For what I require
is total commitment,
no half-hearted ‘oh . . .’ ”

That’s how I discovered
that his word is truth,
when I put my own self
on his altar of love,
trusting his plan
and his tender heart,

He gave me himself,
living inside me,
slowly unveiling
the shape of his goals,
guiding me forward
on his chosen path.

And I have been free
as never before,
free to respond,
free to explore
the depths of his kindness
his love for the poor,

and even the prideful
one, trying so hard
to make it alone,
to push away Abba
thinking he’s strong,
although he’s so wrong.

“Loose your grip on your life~!”
That’s the next thing he said,
touching my hands.
“Give up control
of your time and your goods;
your life is not your own!”


Every day I give you my all,
trusting your goodness,
stomping on fear,
serving your purpose,
my God, the Good Boss,
without whom we’re lost!

That rich man who only wanted to know how to do enough good to get to heaven was shocked by Jesus’ final words: he not only had to keep all the commandments, but let go of his possessions and his life path:

²¹ “If you want to be perfect,” Jesus said to him, “go, sell your belongings and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow Me.”  (Matt. 19:21 CSB)

Those of us who are perfectionists really do want to be perfect, but living life the perfect way on the Jesus Road is not something we would choose. We want control of our lives. Like the rich man, that invitation from Jesus to “follow me” includes way too much letting go of control.

One of my hardest learning curves while serving in missions in Côte d’Ivoire was giving up relinquishing my to-do list, my schedule, into my Lord’s hands. I like to be organized, respecting daily space for work, exercise, creativity, and my books. Of course family was a part of all that for many years, with kids taking up evenings as well as most of my days. That was to be expected.

What I had not factored in appropriately was the rich view of community in the culture there. It required receiving visitors whenever they came, offering a drink of water and personal attention. In the U.S. it is rare that neighbors or other friends pop in, several each day, especially in the evenings. We needed to change our expectations and be ready to warmly receive the visitor—and also get out of our nook to go spend time with them.

We knew we needed rest, so we did shut the front door at 8 pm, just opening up for urgent visits. But our receptivity made a huge difference in building relationships. After a while it was groups that honored us with a special visit (lots of sandals at the door!). The practice of warm welcome opened hearts as well as doors!

Here in Detroit I was getting used to a rhythm that kept me productive, scheduling meetings or calls with certain friends. I was in charge of my life again. It is rare here to get unexpected visits. Then the Lord pressed my heart gently and reminded me that my life is not my own. It’s his. And he had his own plans for this season, too, plans for new kinds of fruitfulness that suit his good purposes. He reminded me that in my youth I had repeatedly consecrated my life to him through a hymn that is constantly applicable: Take My Life and Let it Be, by Frances Ridley Havergal (1874):

Take my life and let it be
consecrated, Lord, to thee.
Take my moments and my days;
let them flow in endless praise,
let them flow in endless praise.

Yes, my moments and my days! I had slipped back into clutching control of my time. Not that my Lord is against his people being organized and accomplishing tasks, as well as taking care of themselves! No! But living a life devoted to him requires letting him be in control. When he puts an unexpected responsibility into the works, whether it is a relationship or a service, we have to let go of that part of our planned schedule. So this year I’ve been contemplating that, asking him to show me his plans. He has, and yes, my spiritual peace has been energized and renewed.

That is just one example of what it can mean to do what Jesus said is the ultimate expression of agape love, “to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (John 15.13). He himself laid down his life for us on the cross—he literally gave it up out of love. Most of us are not given that kind of opportunity to “lay down” our lives by dying in place of someone. But he had already shown his love, so many times, to people leading up to his death. Crowds followed him; he paid attention to them and taught them. Suffering people came for healing; he healed them. His disciples were scared stiff, caught in a storm at sea; he calmed the storm and protected them. Parents brought their kids for blessing, which disrupted the normal teaching time; he told those trying to push them away to let them come.  He demonstrated humble service by washing his disciples feet. So many examples!

When we think about giving up control of our lives, we see ourselves in the role of a servant. But Jesus added onto the powerful command to “lay down one’s life” a note that is very touching. He said that rather than “servant,’ he calls someone who lives out that command “friend!”  Why? Because “a servant does not know his master’s business.” (John 15:15). A disciple who listens to this command and is ready to use his life to serve others lovingly, the way his Master directs him, that person does know what their Master is all about. They know his business!

Our God is love. His “business” is to live out this love that wants the best for others, and to share his words with those he puts in our lives, wherever he plants us. When an urgent need shows up on our doorstep or when the phone rings, it is a call to action. And even when a longer-term commitment is required, let’s “lay down” our lives according to his direction—no holding back!