Open Home

The travelers walked in the door,
hot and dusty after hours on dirt roads.
Mom always found room at the table,
one built for her by Dad, big enough
to welcome at least a dozen guests.
She added another vegetable, salad, bread—
done! There was always enough.

Then, grown up, it was my turn.
I learned to serve the local friend
who showed up right at mealtime,
thirsty, hungry, startled that we knew
an open home was an essential virtue,
a demonstration of community,
a value held dearly: a test of character.

Our village friends showed us more,
caring for us when we stayed all night.
A brother would move out of his hut
so that we could rest in that space.
Or a sister would open her hut to me
along with other sisters at a long event.

They had little, but love was overflowing.
We were even given names, accepted
as one of them. Open hearts welcomed us.
We kept on learning, opening our own door
to bring in visitors, to honor Family.
It became our way, too, as it should be:
“Love your neighbor as you love yourself!”


We all just had our Thanksgiving holiday here in the U.S., a time that celebrates hospitality—especially in the delights of great food. Many of us traveled long distances just to be reunited with family or special friends, or else we were welcoming them into our homes. It was definitely a season for sharing!

Back in Ferkessédougou, we learned that sharing our space and welcoming visitors had to be far more than seasonal. Our front door was unlocked from 7 a.m. to 8 p.m.—but if we heard that “Ko ko!” call after that, we needed to be ready to go see who was there. The biggest change I felt every time we came back to Detroit was how rare it is to have an unexpected visitor. To be honest, I often needed that respite for a while. Then I would begin to miss it.

I know one thing the Lord was teaching me throughout my childhood as a missionary kid, then as an adult in that same culture, was how to live in community even in my own home. It was a necessity if we were to be accepted as good people. Someone who spent too much time alone behind closed doors was viewed with suspicion. What were they up to, in secret? But someone who had an open door was seen as a safe place.

Yes, the Nyarafolo people lived that out for us whenever we were in what became “our” village, the place our in the “bush” where they lovingly taught us more Nyarafolo and welcomed the bumbling strangers into their lives. Then, when many joined the Family of Jesus, they hosted brothers and sisters (including us) for Bible conferences and special events, like baptisms. Staying overnight on a mat on the floor, in the dark, with the latrine across the courtyard, being served hot leftovers for breakfast—it all demonstrated that whatever we have can be shared.

Fortunately God gave me a husband who has a gift of hospitality and found it easy to welcome the visitor. He eventually even handled those who were not real friends, not even “angels” that we might welcome unawares (Hebrews 13:1,2), but were outsiders come to take advantage of us. Those things did happen. It required discernment and a heart ready to accept people. It was a learning curve.

Given all the opportunities, I eventually read Open Heart, Open Home: The Hospitable Way to Make Others Feel Welcome & Wanted, by Karen Mains. It affirmed for me that there are multiple ways to practice the open home, from spontaneous simple opportunities to long-term ones.

There came a time when the first Nyarafolo pastor, a “son” from that village that had welcomed us, was returning for ministry but had not found a place for his family to live. His wife and children moved in with us for a year, a community arrangement that brought us into a kind of intimacy that would have been impossible otherwise. It happened a second time too, with the next village “son” who came back to this least-reached people group to plant a church. The Lord was showing us how he could use an open home for his special purposes. It did not put us out—rather, we gained yet more close relationships, and it taught us more about what an open home could do for his glory:

Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God. (Rom. 15:7 ESV)

The culture is different in the States, but we have been shown the same hospitality here. We came back on “home assignment” for a year without a place to stay, and the pastor of our home church took us in. His wife became a close friend, our children became brothers and sisters. Another time, evacuated from war, a family took us in, sharing their home in a lovely lakeside setting. Rest, safety, open home! One of our daughters even had her wedding reception on their front lawn.

And then during our many travels, numerous homes were opened to host us for meals or overnight. Over and over we were blessed by people sharing their space and love for the Lord, with us as travelers in and out of their lives.

All of these experiences only underlined for me what a gift it is when God’s children truly practice the kind of love we are urged to have, love that goes beyond affectionate feelings to actions that demonstrate communal love beyond the “norm”:

May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else, just as ours does for you. (1 Thess. 3:12 NIV)

Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters. Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it. (Heb. 13:1,2 NIV)

Yes, we are to show that love to our brothers and sisters. We are also to show it to “everyone else,” even strangers that may land at our door! Of course, we need to have the discernment that is able to turn danger away from our home. But the Lord can give insight so that we know when it is right to invite the stranger in.

Recently a heavy woman lumbered up the steps onto our porch and rang the doorbell. We were at the dining room table. I jumped up and opened the door, wondering if this was another one of those “Witnesses” that occasionally happened by. No! This one introduced herself as someone who had grown up in the house we now live in. She had been visiting a friend down the street, who told her about this family that had moved in, and she wanted to meet us and see how the house had been rehabbed. It turned into four hours of deep sharing on both sides, a bonding that we hope will last. What if we had not opened the door?

Adele Calhoun points out that true hospitality, practiced for spiritual formation, consists of “loving, not entertaining, the guest,” and “sharing your home, food, resources, car and all that you call your own so that another might experience the reality of God’s welcoming heart.”[1]

Who have you known that has shown this to you or your family? How has this impacted you? How is the Lord prompting you to serve him this way? How have you already practiced it? It is different for each of us, depending on our resources and where he has placed us. Yet he wants us to have that love that overflows, that reaches out to others in our community or even to the stranger.

This brings honor to him!

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[1] Calhoun, Adele Ahlberg. Spiritual Disciplines Handbook: Practices that Transform Us. (Downers Grove, Illinois: IVP Books, 2005), p. 138.