When He Restores My Soul

When He, the Shepherd of my life, 
restores my weary soul, 
He shines his brilliant, healing light 
into each shadowed corner space, 
and He cleans out each creeping rot 
and sneaky vapor of distress, 
depression or deceit. 

And then His lovingkindness flows 
His living water through each vein,  
with salt of truth and his sweet grace 
reviving energy and hope 
so that I can get up and run 
this race that He has put me on. 

When I was walking mornings in the Upper Peninsula at Piatt Lake, one thing that astounded me over and over was the difference light made when it hit the colored leaves or when the rising sun transformed the lake waters to glistening mirrors. Inside the forest there were dark areas where tiny moss villages covered fallen tree trunks, but when the sun moved across the sky and shone through gaps in the leaf cover overhead, the moss would turn emerald bright. You could see tiny caves here and there in it, or evergreen sprouts, or broken twigs.

Light is a frequent focus in Scripture. God is light (1 John 1:5) When he comes into a shadowed place his light illuminates everything there—showed it up for what it really is. Nothing can be hidden.

That is what began to change my understanding of those precious well-known verses in Psalm 23:

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. ² He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. ³ He restores my soul.  (Ps. 23:1-3a ESV)

I had always taken that line, “He restores my soul,” to mean that he refreshes me. It is one possible way to translate it (cf NIV). But here it seems to have a wider scope that includes bringing it back to health, to the way that it should be. The trash needs to be cleaned up and thrown out. When a house is restored, the old dilapidated features are torn out and replaced—it is renewed. Look at what comes next in verse 3:

He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.  (Ps. 23:3b ESV)

The Shepherd loves his sheep, and this Good Shepherd does all that is necessary for his sheep’s well-being: he gives them rest and nourishment, and all that they need to drink and be washed clean. This Shepherd is also Light, and that reveals everything. When the sheep submits, their true person (soul, interior) is cleaned out and strengthened so that this sheep can do what is right, living the way that they should when in the Shepherd’s flock.

The sheep that runs away from the Shepherd wants nothing to do with that last part: they want to do their own thing, live their own way. But any sheep who claims the Shepherd as his own gets not only rest, food and water, but heart-cleaning and any urgent care needed. Then they are equipped for the journey.

That need for true restoration was underlined for me this past week when an unexpected leak in a pipe led to hours of flooding in the first-floor extension recently added to our house. We cut short our vacation at Piatt Lake and came home to take care of it. Glenn has been working ever since on its “restoration,” tearing up the new flooring he had put on so that the wet subfloor could dry out, then reflooring the walkway, hall, bathroom and bedroom. Talk about a necessary re-do!

I felt like I should work hard too, with this extra time now designated at home. So I did deep cleaning, even climbing onto counters to reach on top of kitchen cabinets to wipe out dust and grime accumulated for years. You can’t see it there, so it doesn’t come to mind. Up here in my Skyhouse (the attic level that is our bedroom and my office), we pulled out all the furniture and shelving and vacuumed, even under the bed. Amazing the amount of dust that collects when you don’t regularly clean it up!

Isn’t that how it is with our souls, too? It is easy to whip through the Lord’s Prayer, just saying “forgive my sins,” without checking to see whether I have actually forgiven others as well (the last part of that sentence). And just what sins am I confessing? It is easier not to let God’s light shine into the deep corners of my soul, but instead to let daily missteps, poor choices, unloving words or acts just accumulate there in the shadows.

If I really want the Shepherd’s provision and protection, I had better be prepared to accept the work he offers, to restore my soul. He will shine his light around my inner person and bring the trash to my attention. Will I repent? Will I turn around, changing my behavior, when he brings it to light? How can I actually follow his right paths unless I do?

Adele Calhoun explains this process very clearly:

“True repentance means we open the bad in our lives to God. We invite him to come right in and look at our sin with us. We don’t hide by being good, moral people or in neurotic self-recriminations. We don’t pretend to be other than we are. We don’t disguise the truth by carting out all the disciplines we practice. We tell it like it is—without rationalization, denial or blame—to the only person in the universe who will unconditionally love us when we are bad. We hand over the pretense, image management, manipulation, control and self-obsession. In the presence of the holy One we give up on appearing good and fixing our sin. We lay down our ability to change by the power of the self. We turn to Jesus and seek forgiveness.”[1]

When we let the Shepherd clean up the mess that we acknowledge, it is gone, and he shows us how to do what is right instead of staying on that messy path. Our part is to follow his lead, trusting that he knows best. It requires complete devotion to him. Without that, we just keep slipping and falling. When we are truly his, he himself keeps us from falling—his Spirit counsels us. All we need to do is be that good sheep that listens and follows their Shepherd constantly.

Maybe you don’t need deep-cleaning. Maybe you are all out for Jesus, the Good Shepherd, coming before him every day for guidance. Just don’t let the dust keep collecting in hidden areas! And if there is a flood that tears up all the hard work you’ve been doing, let him show you what you need to do to participate in turning things around and achieving real restoration.

When Glenn finishes installing all that flooring he will heave a big sigh of relief instead of the sighs that accompany all the bending and hammering. When I finished the deep cleaning in the Skyhouse and the kitchen I felt new peace. That is what soul restoration will bring, too!

Let the Light shine in, and respond with gratitude for the restoration that is offered!

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[1] Calhoun, Adele Ahlberg. Spiritual Disciplines Handbook: Practices that Transform Us. (Downers Grove, Illinois: IVP Books, 2005), p 92.