Hush My Swirling Thoughts

I calm myself 
and quiet my heart 
hush my swirling thoughts 
and rest 
like a weaned child 
against her mother's chest 
no searching 
no tossing about 
no hungry whimpers 
just breathing 

the pounding waves 
pat my back 
the sound of love 
I rest 
and the salty breeze 
caresses my cheeks 
I'm leaning 
on eternal arms 
that hold me close 
infusing peace 

When you feel like your world is in chaos, where do you go? When you long to curl up and go away somewhere, someplace out of the tumult, where do you go?

A beach at an ocean is highest on my list of favorite places to lean back and rest, but I don’t live near an ocean. I can go down to the Detroit River and sit on a bench at Belle Isle; there the geese come to greet me as little waves splash up against the rocks along the shore, and as evening comes, the cricket choir cannot be missed. When I am in my skyhouse (the attic study where I work) with no way to be by water, I can still picture it. Water movement speaks of many things, and over and over it has reminded me of the unending love of my Father, Abba, coming to “pat my back” and remind me of his ongoing loving pursuit of me:

Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the LORD forever. (Ps. 23:6 NLT)

Yes! The Hebrew word that describes the movement of God’s goodness and faithfulness to us means “to pursue” not “follow” as so many translations have put it. It is not just shadowing us. And those versions that say “goodness and mercy” have downplayed the force of the word behind what they call “mercy”: it is his faithful/loyal/gracious love that never ends, חֶסֶד , hesed. Mercy is included in that incredible depth of loving kindness and solid trustworthy love!

So I may be dealing with despair over situations surrounding me, or with unexpected judgmental criticism.  Or maybe even the loss of a loved one. Whatever it is, I just need to realize that Abba is pursuing me (always kindly hunting me down, wherever I am) with love, and he is completely good. I just need to “hush my swirling thoughts” and lay back against him. Psalm 131, that always speaks to me, says that I am to do it like a little child who is no longer searching all over for breast milk; instead, I am to lean quietly against my parent and rest:

LORD, my heart is not proud; my eyes are not haughty. I don’t concern myself with matters too great or too awesome for me to grasp. ² Instead, I have calmed and quieted myself, like a weaned child who no longer cries for its mother’s milk. Yes, like a weaned child is my soul within me. ³ O Israel, put your hope in the LORD– now and always. (Ps. 131:1-3 NLT)

Imagine yourself at a beach or beside a river, with a gentle breeze reminding you of the Spirit’s breath. Let go of worries. Let go of the proud need to solve your own situations. Look up to the Ruler of the Universe who loves you in a way beyond your understanding, and trusting him, let him speak peace to you. The pulsing waves keep on keeping on, never stopping. Abba is there, “now and always”—he is there when things are fine, he is there when the world seems to be falling apart. You and I cannot control the storms or the pollution around us. But he is in charge. When it is his timing he will say: “Peace, be still!” and the storm will lose its power. Meanwhile, he holds his child:

The eternal God is your refuge, and his everlasting arms are under you. He drives out the enemy before you; he cries out, ‘Destroy them!’ (Deut. 33:27 NLT)

My job, your job, is to let go and trust Abba now and ever. It takes practice. We are prone to worry, prone to focus on the pain of loss or of attacks, sometimes even too proud to let go of handling it all ourselves. It’s hard to go back to that childlike willingness to just be held. But there we can find peace, peace unlike—much greater–than what we can find anywhere else:

I am leaving you with a gift– peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid. (Jn. 14:27 NLT)

Jesus said that to his disciples shortly before they would be going through the horrific, unexpected experience of watching their Messiah be arrested, beaten and crucified. Only complete trust in him and his word could give them any peace at all right then. But Jesus knew that what was coming out of the horror was access to life that never ends and an intimate relationship with him: he would be living in them, his Spirit would be with them to guide and console them every moment. And they found it to be true as they walked with him through the rest of their lives, suffering hateful opposition and often physical abuse. The writer to the Hebrews was even able to urge their readers to keep on trusting the God of peace who showed his strength when he resurrected the Messiah, Jesus:

 Now may the God of peace—who brought up from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great Shepherd of the sheep, and ratified an eternal covenant with his blood— may he equip you with all you need for doing his will. May he produce in you, through the power of Jesus Christ, every good thing that is pleasing to him. All glory to him forever and ever! Amen.  (Heb. 13:20-21 NLT)

Our Father God will equip us with all the we need in order to do what he has as his purpose for us! We just need to trust him. leaning on him—that is indeed already doing what he has told us to do! And he will take us through whatever is troubling us. He will give us peace, and strength to do the next thing he puts before us. We thank him “now and always”!